Anecdotally, from seeing portrayals in the media about sex, and from hearing people talk about sex, I realized that there are these two different kinds of camps. Those who seem to be prepared to work at sex and those who seem to think, ‘No, you shouldn’t have to work at sex. It should either happen, or not.’ And this is cheesy, but watching Sex and the City kind of reiterated that theme to me. And I use the example of Samantha (Kim Cattrall’s character), (who) seems to be more of a sex destiny believer and Charlotte (played by Kristin Davis), seems to be more of a sexual growth believer. And I am not the first to talk about the idea that you need to work at relationships; there is a whole body of work about destiny and growth in your general relationships. So I was influenced in this, but no one had really looked at it in terms of sex. Sex is something so unique and special.
Sexual destiny is what word the word destiny implies that sex will come, compatibility is evident from the get-go, and passion in your sex life is diagnostic of your relationship as a whole. And growth beliefs come from the idea that you think your relationship is like a garden, and you need to water it and nurture it to make it thrive, and in applying it to sex, it is people who think they need to put time and effort into their sex lives to make it work. Sexual growth believers are cooler with the ebbs and flows of passion in their relationship, so when they are confronted by the sex not being so great, they don’t take it to heart and think the relationship is doomed, instead they believe in trying to work through it, and doing things to boost their sexual satisfaction. It is important to note that I measure both beliefs in the same person, so while I talk about like it is two different people, each individual person gets a score in both beliefs.
Source: PZI
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